What The Fuck Just Happened Today?

Today's essential newsletter. Logging the daily shock and awe in national politics. Read in moderation.
by @matt_kiser

Site updated:

1/ Congress reached a deal to keep the government open through September. The plan would add billions for the Pentagon and border security, but it doesn't allow the money to be spent on building Trump's wall. There is no money provided for a deportation force and there are no cuts of federal monies to so-called sanctuary cities. Votes in both chambers are expected by the end of the week. (CNN)

2/ North Korea said it will continue its nuclear weapons tests and bolster its nuclear force "to the maximum." The North called US sanctions and its show of force – sending an aircraft carrier to the Korean peninsula and joint drills with South Korea – aggression and hysteria. (Reuters)

3/ Trump said he would be "honored" to meet with Kim Jong Un if the circumstances were right. "I would be honored to do it," he said amid heightened tensions over North Korea's nuclear weapons program. (Bloomberg)

4/ Trump doesn't know what's in his health care bill. The Republican health care plan Trump described on Face the Nation is at odds with his health care goals. He said that people with preexisting conditions will be protected, but the latest amendment says they won’t be. Trump also said deductibles will go down under the Republican plan, but a nonpartisan analysis expects deductibles to go up. (Vox)

5/ The administration ends Michelle Obama's girls education program. The "Let Girls Learn" program comes to an end as Melania Trump begins to define her own platform as first lady. (CNN)

6/ The Department of Agriculture is relaxing Obama-era school lunch standards. The new rules suspend the sodium reduction and whole-grain requirements, as well as allow 1% fat chocolate milk back into school cafeterias nationwide because of "palatability issues." (ABC News)

7/ Trump claims Andrew Jackson was upset about the Civil War and wonders why that the issues "could not have been worked out." Jackson died 16 years before the war began. Trump suggested that if Jackson had been president "a little later, you wouldn't have had the Civil War." (Associated Press)

Here's Trump's full answer on "swashbuckler" Andrew Jackson and the Civil War: "Why could that one not have been worked out?" pic.twitter.com/Zb8OQaDqyq

— Edward-Isaac Dovere (@IsaacDovere) May 1, 2017

8/ Trump abruptly ended an interview after being pushed on his claims that Obama ordered surveillance of him. He said his allegation that he was illegally surveilled has “been proven very strongly" and that he is entitled to his own “opinions.” (Politico)

9/ Trump invited Duterte to visit him at the White House after their “very friendly conversation." The authoritarian leader is accused of ordering extrajudicial killings of drug suspects in the Philippines, which has drawn criticism from human rights groups. The State Department and the National Security Council were both caught off guard by the invitation and raised objections internally. (New York Times)

10/ Reince Priebus said the Trump administration has "looked at" changes to libel laws that would curtail press freedoms. Trump has frequently slammed the press for its coverage of him and has suggested changing libel laws. Libel is when defamatory statements about someone are published. But the American press enjoys some protection from lawsuits claiming libel because of the First Amendment's guarantee of free speech rights. (ABC News)

11/ Trump says his rally crowd broke records despite empty seats at his 100-day rally in Pennsylvania on Saturday night. Journalists pointed out rows of empty seats at the expo center. (The Hill)

Trump says "we have a lot of ppl standing outside" and he "broke the all time record" in this arena. There are rows of empty seats here pic.twitter.com/ixbErKjrQu

— Jonathan Tamari (@JonathanTamari) April 30, 2017